“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.” – Groucho Marx

“Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” – Billie Burke

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” – Thomas Edison

“I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms.” – Michael Scott (The Office)

“Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” – Will Rogers

“I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” – Lily Tomlin

“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard

“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” – Steven Wright

“People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” – Winnie the Pooh

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey

“If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.”

“I am on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.”

“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” – Charlie Chaplin

“Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.” – Winston Churchill

“Always remember that you are unique… just like everyone else.” – Margaret Mead

“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.” – Bill Gates

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde

“You can’t have everything… where would you put it?” – Steven Wright

“Even the best planning won’t prevent laughter from happening.”

“Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.”