“I like my coffee like I like my humor: dark and strong.”

“Coffee: because adulting is hard.”

“Espresso yourself before you wreck yourself.”

“I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it.”

“Decaf? No, I prefer my coffee with a side of sanity.”

“I drink coffee for your protection.”

“Coffee: a magical substance that turns ‘leave me alone’ into ‘good morning!’”

“Life without coffee is like trying to sleep with your eyes open.”

“Coffee first, schemes later.”

“Instant human, just add coffee.”

“All you need is love… and more coffee.”

“I like my coffee like I like my mornings: strong and bitter.”

“Behind every successful person is a substantial amount of coffee.”

“My blood type is coffee.”

“Coffee is my love language.”

“First I drink the coffee, then I do the things.”

“Stressed, blessed, and coffee obsessed.”

“Coffee: because Monday happens every week.”

“I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just in a committed relationship.”

“Coffee—the most important meal of the day.”

“I like my coffee how I like myself: hot, strong, and too bitter for you.”

“Coffee keeps me going until it’s socially acceptable to drink wine.”

“Life happens. Coffee helps.”

“Without coffee, I’m basically a zombie with a pulse.”

“I like big cups and I cannot lie.”

“Coffee: the favorite drink of the civilized world.”

“Decaf? No, I like my coffee with a sense of danger.”

“I never laugh until I’ve had my coffee.”

“Coffee is a hug in a mug — with extra sarcasm.”

“I like coffee the same way I like my humor: hot, dark, and slightly inappropriate.”