1. “I’m not sure what’s tighter, my jeans or my anxiety about graduation.”
2. “May your coffee be strong and your Mondays be short.”
3. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep… like promising to stay in touch.”
4. “I’ve decided to major in happiness. It’s going pretty well.”
5. “I’m not saying I’m a procrastinator, but I alphabetize my to-do lists.”
6. “Proof that I survived high school.”
7. “Warning: May spontaneously talk about high school.”
8. “I’m pretty sure I peaked in sophomore year.”
9. “Goodbyes don’t mean anything. You just say goodbye and then you don’t talk to that person anymore. I miss you yes, but it’s okay.”
10. “Dear Future, I’m sorry about every terrible decision we made.”
11. “I’m not saying I’m a genius, but I’m pretty good at failing.”
12. “Let this be a reminder that you’re awesome. Seriously, you are.”
13. “I’m officially accepting applications for a therapist.”
14. “Don’t look back, unless you’re photographing your footprints.”
15. “Remember when we thought we were adults? Good times.”
16. “My brain has too many tabs open.”

17. “I’m not afraid to be silly. Just don’t ask me to be serious.”
18. “If you can read this, I’m probably dead.”
19. “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.”
20. “I’m fluent in sarcasm and procrastination.”
21. “I’m not sure what’s worse, failing this class or failing to find a job.”
22. “It’s okay to not be okay. And it’s okay to ask for help.”
23. “I’m taking this opportunity to dramatically announce my departure.”
24. “The best and brightest minds are often the most confused.”
25. “Don’t sweat the small stuff… unless the small stuff is a failing grade.”